Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,544

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Just landed via Twitch:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Freshly posted on Threads:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Just shared via YouTube:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Going viral on Facebook:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Breaking via Snapchat:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Just shared via YouTube:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Live now on X:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to shock Gordon Ramsay with my culinary restraint! 😅🔪🥣

cooking, humor, i, man, men, poison, sarcasm, self-control, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, embarrassing, God, Gord, humor, i, lord, mix-up, mixed, prayed, religion
“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

0

5 months ago

American, American humor, Americans, burger, food, food metaphor, Funny, funny phrase, humor, imagine, joke, language, metaphor, nothing, nothing burger, phrase
My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

0

2 months ago

canine, dog, folium, folium lanceolatum, humor, joke, just, lanceolatum, leaf, nature, pets, tracking
Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

0

2 months ago

conversation, coworker, coworkers, crazy, day, end, end of day, every, going, home, humor, office, reaction, talk, time, work
Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

0

3 weeks ago

anyone, concern, education, else, fear, future, generation, generations, illiteracy, illiterate, next, scared, stupid, stupidity, youth
I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

0

2 months ago

breath, humor, i, intimacy, locked, morning, morning breath, point, romantic, tongue-kissing, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

37 shares on Threads this month:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

63 shares on Threads this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I have a yearning disability.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Spotted on Discord:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Spotted on Threads:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Trending via Twitch:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Making waves on X:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Just landed via Pinterest:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Just landed via Reddit:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨