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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Just shared via Snapchat:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Breaking via Messenger:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Just landed via Reddit:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Just shared via Facebook:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Seen just now on X:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Just shared via WeChat:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Witty text about life lessons, humorously highlighting forgetfulness and the importance of note-taking.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Two key life lessons: 1) Always remember to… uh, wait, what was it again? 🤔 2) Ah yes, WRITE IT DOWN! 📝 The struggle is real, folks! 😂 #MemoryFail"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

79 shares on YouTube this month:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

80 shares on Discord this month:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Trending via X:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Trending via Messenger:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Spotted on Threads:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Breaking via Instagram:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Spotted on Instagram:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

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