Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

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They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

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Unsolicited sandwich pics.

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The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

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If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

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When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

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I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

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Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.