Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Making waves on Slack:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Just landed via Messenger:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Live now on TikTok:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Breaking via Messenger:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your jacket pulls off a better prank than you ever could! 👻🧥🤣

chair, evening, i, illusion, jacket, left, looks, new, night, nightmare, person, scare, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

2 months ago

disappointment, eat, food, humor, self-deprecation
I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

2 months ago

amount, comedy, divine, divine test, faith, financial, financial success, gods, handle, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, me, money, next, religion, ridiculous, sarcasm, should, success, test, think, wealth
“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

4 months ago

bathroom, before, epitaph, humor, i, left, pee, procrastination, regret
Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

2 weeks ago

body, grooming, holiday, humor, just, Santa, shave, shaved, whole
The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

5 months ago

actually, after, after work, ball, beef, bowling, bowling ball, friendship, humor, joke, pin, pun, sports, work
My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

3 months ago

9, company, CV, exaggeration, good, humor, job, job search, months, nine, nine months, reading, resume, search, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

This sex could have been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Live now on Threads:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Trending via YouTube:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Trending via Reddit:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Going viral on Threads:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Just shared via Discord:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨