Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

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My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

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The person who invented butter really understood humans.

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I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

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A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

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I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

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This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

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My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

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I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

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Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.