Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Just landed via Threads:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Shared recently on X:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Spotted on Twitch:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Trending via Instagram:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Live now on Messenger:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The ultimate cold workout: ice cube dodgeball! 🧊🏃‍♂️😂

cardio, cube, exercise, floor, got, ice, ice cube, just, kitchen, minutes, pick, trying, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

0

4 months ago

best, describe, feeling, feels, humor, Monday, say, time, year
My body is a vessel for various dips.

0

1 month ago

body, dip, eating, food, humor, snack, vessel
People should come with warning labels.

0

5 months ago

humor, interaction, label, labels, people, personality, should, social, social interaction, warning, warning label
Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

0

2 months ago

advice, behavior, bite, child, child behavior, Google, humor, kid, kids, marriage, married, parenting, teach, things
I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

0

2 months ago

always, door, garage, getting, getting rid, hoodlum, humor, i, meaning, procrastination, rid, shut, stealing, stuff, sure, want
The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

0

2 months ago

comfort, experience, fine, guest, guest room, humor, i, mattress, room, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Making waves on YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Making waves on X:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Spotted on Discord:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Shared recently on Slack:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

My body is a vessel for various dips.

People should come with warning labels.

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨