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Commentary:
"Who knew salad could be so serious? 🥗😆 Maybe it needs some stand-up dressing! Just lettuce know when you want a good chuckle with your greens! 🥬😂"

food, humor, joke, just, laugh, me, photo, salad, stock, stock photo, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

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5 months ago

5G, after, Bigfoot, conspiracy, got, humor, joke, killed, know, never, picture, pictures, right, smartphone, technology, why
I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

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2 months ago

accept, act, clarity, communication, dumb, humor, humor quote, i, irony, me, sarcasm, say, stubborn, stubborn act, stubbornness, wit
I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

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2 months ago

disrespect, etiquette, humor, i, irony, sarcasm, sir, title
In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

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3 hours ago

20, always, Christmas, door, east, flight, holiday, house, humor, miles, movie, neighbor, never, next, Santa, sleigh
Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

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5 months ago

asked, child, honesty, humor, nobody, parenting, roommate, toddler, toddlers
For whom the doom scrolls!

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2 months ago

doom, humor, internet, irony, media, procrastination, reading, scroll, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

88 shares on Discord this month:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

55 shares on Instagram this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

39 shares on Threads this month:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

36 shares on X this month:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Making waves on Telegram:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Shared recently on Messenger:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Broadcasted on X:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Just landed via X:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Shared recently on Slack:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Spotted on Slack:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

For whom the doom scrolls!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨