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Commentary:
"Who knew salad could be so serious? 🥗😆 Maybe it needs some stand-up dressing! Just lettuce know when you want a good chuckle with your greens! 🥬😂"

food, humor, joke, just, laugh, me, photo, salad, stock, stock photo, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

0

5 months ago

availability, behavior, conversation, drinking, drunk, emotional, emotional availability, emotionally, humor, i, me, please, sober, social, social behavior, stop, talking, taxi, unavailable, why
Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

0

2 months ago

cute, dog, drive, driving, drunk, funny scenario, home, humor, me, pet, pub, rescue, scenario, teaching
Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

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2 months ago

appearance, funny thought, good, haircut, humor, i, life, self-reflection, sometimes, thought, wonder
I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

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2 months ago

cooking, family, food, hear, holiday, humor, i, moist, overcook, say, table, turkey
If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

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3 weeks ago

both, football, game, humor, joke, Liverpool, lose, madrid, match, play, real, Real Madrid, right, rivalry, soccer, sports, Teams
My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

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1 month ago

bit, conversation, every, family, family gathering, gathering, going, holiday, humor, incorrectly, joke, mispronunciation, name, politician, politicians, politics, Thanksgiving

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

38 shares on Threads this month:

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

20 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I disagree with my politics.

Just landed via YouTube:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Just landed via Snapchat:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Broadcasted on Slack:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Trending via Twitch:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨