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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Just shared via YouTube:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Trending via TikTok:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Shared recently on Slack:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your doctor levels up to a boss battle and you decide to join the team! 😂🧤👨‍⚕️ #DoctorVsPatient"

activity, confuse, confusion, doctor, funny activity, glof, hack, humor, life, life hack, prank, putting, same, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

0

2 months ago

care, comfort, home, humor, i, relaxation, self-acceptance, ugly
If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

0

2 months ago

cause, confusion, cousin, family, gatherings, humor, interaction, lot, parents, party, partying, relationship, sibling, social, social interaction
I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, idiot, radioactive, sarcasm, superpowers, wit
Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

0

2 months ago

activity, bite, dating, dating tips, fun, fun activity, humor, profiles, share, should, sneeze, sound, sound bite, tips
“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

0

3 months ago

attitude, humor, i, job, laziness, motivation, never, nobody, wanted, wants, work
Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

0

2 months ago

40s, acceptance, age, aging, good, good health, health, humor, late, late 40s, life, life stages, longer, stages, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

49 shares on Threads this month:

My default setting is sexual energy.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

96 shares on X this month:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I run a parody bank account.

74 shares on Slack this month:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨