Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Trending via Pinterest:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Trending via Twitch:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Seen just now on Threads:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Making waves on YouTube:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Live now on Instagram:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Spotted on Threads:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next stop: The kitchen, for my epic snacking adventure! 🚪➡️🍿😄"

bedroom, everyday, everyday life, excitement, exciting, humor, i, knows, life, living, living room, movement, next, room, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

0

2 months ago

attempt, decision making, going, humor, mindset, problem, self-reflection, situation, thinking, try, underthinking, works
One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

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3 months ago

excellent, head, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, point, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, voice, voices
Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

0

2 months ago

animal, answering, cat, cats, communication, greeting, humor, Japanese, phone, pun
Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, mind, mind reader, playful, question, reader, wit
If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

0

2 months ago

appearance, astrology, beauty, compliment, humor, interaction, means, pretty, social, social interaction, talk, talking
“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

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2 months ago

anatomy, department, drama, grey’s, Grey’s Anatomy, hospital, hr, HR department, humor, medical, medical drama, parody, perspective, television, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Instagram this month:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

48 shares on Discord this month:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

25 shares on Slack this month:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Just landed via X:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Spotted on Threads:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Live now on X:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Just shared via Telegram:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Trending via Reddit:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Shared recently on Facebook:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Live now on Instagram:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨