Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Spotted on X:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Making waves on X:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Just shared via Reddit:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Spotted on TikTok:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Live now on Slack:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Going viral on Instagram:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next stop: The kitchen, for my epic snacking adventure! 🚪➡️🍿😄"

bedroom, everyday, everyday life, excitement, exciting, humor, i, knows, life, living, living room, movement, next, room, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

January is the Monday of the year.

0

2 months ago

comparison, humor, January, Monday, new, new year, seasons, time, winter, year
Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

0

2 months ago

activity, daily, daily routine, done, humor, mental, mental activity, overthinking, procrastination, routine, sarcasm, wake, waking, waking up
Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, hr, humor, mistake, office, personality, real, today, truth, used, work
When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

0

2 months ago

childhood, cicada, funny thought, heat, hot, i, kid, misconception, nature, outside, real, sound, summer, sunshine, thought
I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

0

2 months ago

1984, forgetfulness, humor, irony, kitchen, memory, nostalgia, song, word
Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

0

4 months ago

around, date, eating, grape, humor, lay, lounging, naked, over, painting, relaxation, renaissance, Renaissance painting, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I’m running out of people I like.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Going bananas on Discord:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Trending via Instagram:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Shared recently on Discord:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Just shared via Slack:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

January is the Monday of the year.

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨