Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

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We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

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Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

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You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

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Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.