Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,748

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Trending via Facebook:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Making waves on Threads:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Just landed via Reddit:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Making waves on Messenger:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

2 months ago

0

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'hipster chic' like nibbling on a fancy grilled cheese served on a vintage license plate. 🍴🧀 Who needs traditional dinnerware when you've got hipster flair? Just make sure the license plate isn't expired before taking a bite! 😉 #HipsterEats"

activity, cheese, dining, eat, experience, food, food experience, fun, fun activity, grilled, grilled cheese, half, hipster, hipster restaurant, humor, license, love, old, old license plate, plate, quirky, quirky dining, restaurant

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

0

2 months ago

dental, dental visit, dentist, everyone, hate, humor, irony, try, visit, weigh
I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

0

2 months ago

best, best time, Google, Googling, humor, i, Maldif, money, time, travel, vacation, visit
Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

0

2 months ago

comparison, errors, haystack, humor, life, longer, modern, modern life, needle, people, search, spreadsheet, technology, work
Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

0

2 months ago

addiction, back, change, comparison, dating, days, humor, relationship, trust
You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, mark, nap, rest, sleep
Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

0

2 months ago

craving, desire, food, having, humor, humor quote, i, joke, sex, tacos, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,987

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Breaking via Messenger:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Going bananas on X:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Live now on Reddit:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

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