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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Seen just now on Threads:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Live now on Facebook:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Just landed via Telegram:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Spotted on Discord:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Just landed via Instagram:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'hipster chic' like nibbling on a fancy grilled cheese served on a vintage license plate. 🍴🧀 Who needs traditional dinnerware when you've got hipster flair? Just make sure the license plate isn't expired before taking a bite! 😉 #HipsterEats"

activity, cheese, dining, eat, experience, food, food experience, fun, fun activity, grilled, grilled cheese, half, hipster, hipster restaurant, humor, license, love, old, old license plate, plate, quirky, quirky dining, restaurant

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Instagram this month:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

16 shares on Discord this month:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spotted on TikTok:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Just shared via Facebook:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

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