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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

British people be like “YouChube.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I wonโ€™t be catching this train again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

(lost in the labyrinth and Iโ€™m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your lifeโ€™s decisions.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Twitch:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Just landed via Threads:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now theyโ€™re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Trending via Threads:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Going viral on Discord:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every time I blink, itโ€™s Monday again. I canโ€™t live like this.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Going viral on TikTok:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Making art is making love to the world.

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Commentary:
Paintbrush in one hand, world romance novel in the other ๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ’ž๐ŸŒ

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were God, Iโ€™d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I donโ€™t know what happened after that.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

What part of โ€œhiiiโ€ do you not get? Iโ€™m in love with you.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

If youโ€™re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Me: Iโ€™m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Indiana Jones is a fantasy about being a professor with no admin duties.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I donโ€™t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Just remember, you donโ€™t need a special reason to buy a cake.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,408

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Motherโ€™s Day before we wake her up and ask whatโ€™s for breakfast.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable youโ€™ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: that โ€œteenagerโ€over there is actually 27.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

During winter, itโ€™s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via X:

Can you imagine how hot Iโ€™d be if I ate right and took care of my body? Iโ€™m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Just landed via TikTok:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Making waves on Instagram:

My parents think they know me.

Going viral on Messenger:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Going bananas on WeChat:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Trending via Reddit:

Canโ€™t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Just landed via WeChat:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Spotted on X:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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