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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1741 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,903

Funny Quotes Topics

14,721

Funny Quotes Images

11,903

Updated

26 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Reported on Telegram:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Going viral on TikTok:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Going viral on TikTok:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Trending via Instagram:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Shared recently on Discord:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.
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Commentary:
"Ha! That's the sound of your lawnmower dreaming of freedom! 🚜😅 Better put it on pause, buddy!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1741 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,903

Funny Quotes Topics

14,721

Funny Quotes Images

11,903

Updated

26 seconds ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Breaking via YouTube:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Going viral on Facebook:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Going viral on Slack:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

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