Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I am cassette tape years old.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,827

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Making waves on Telegram:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Making waves on X:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Going viral on Slack:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ha! That's the sound of your lawnmower dreaming of freedom! 🚜😅 Better put it on pause, buddy!"

argument, ask, back, communication, humor, lawn, marriage, middle, mowing, relationship, silence, silent, tip, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

0

2 months ago

breathe, breathlessness, existence, humor, i, ignore, love, lovey-dovey, man, marriage, marry, masculine, relationship, tall, tall man
My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

0

4 months ago

dining, else, etiquette, expensive, generosity, humor, me, money, order, parents, paying, raise, situation, social, social situation, someone, something, upbringing
Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

0

2 months ago

choices, decision, decisions, dumb, dumb decision, frustration, humor, i, irony, life, life choices, making, overthinking, self-reflection, still
People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

0

2 months ago

allowed, consumption, dislike, entertainment, humor, i, media, opinion, people, preference
I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

0

2 months ago

confidence, humor, i, irony, need, praise, sarcasm, self-esteem, self-worth, someone, validation
Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

0

1 week ago

AI, bubble, culture, everyone, frustration, hate, internet, internet culture, just, pop, sarcasm, technology, trend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on X this month:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

23 shares on Slack this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Just shared via Slack:

Oh good. Another day.

Just shared via WeChat:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Just shared via WeChat:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Making waves on Reddit:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Live now on Threads:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Just shared via Reddit:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨