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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Trending via Facebook:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Trending via YouTube:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Going viral on Discord:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Spotted on YouTube:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Making waves on Facebook:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

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Commentary:
I can barely build a sandwich in a day, so I'm skeptical 🍕⏳🏛️

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on X this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Going viral on Telegram:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Going viral on YouTube:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Spotted on Twitch:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

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