Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

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I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

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If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

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Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

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People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

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People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

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Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

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Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

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If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

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You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

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Obituaries should have clickbait titles.