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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,977

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Live now on TikTok:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Going bananas on YouTube:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Going viral on X:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Just shared via X:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Just landed via Twitch:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Just shared via Twitch:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

2 months ago

0

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize your job has more plot twists than an actual escape room 😂🔍💼

escape, escape room, frustration, hard, humor, joke, manager, me, office, office humor, room, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

0

2 months ago

amazing, blessing, family, humor, irony, kid, kids, learn, music, parent, parents, talent, trumpet
I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

0

2 months ago

ask, expand, free, hate, humor, i, know, moment, someone, time, work
Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

0

2 months ago

cat, cool, humor, i, intrusion, just, leave, life, never, pet, relationship, stray, stray cat
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, common, common sense, fruit, fruit salad, humor, knowledge, salad, sense, tomato, wisdom
A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, common, common sense, humor, irony, need, sense, stupid, wisdom, word
As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

0

2 months ago

clerk, customer, everything, humor, interaction, leave, people, retail, sales, sales clerk, shout, store, sure, touch, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

36 shares on Discord this month:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

65 shares on Twitch this month:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

36 shares on Discord this month:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,667

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Spotted on Instagram:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Trending via Snapchat:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Spotted on Threads:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Seen just now on Slack:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Broadcasted on X:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

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