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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I am thick and tired.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Making waves on Snapchat:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Just shared via TikTok:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Just landed via Threads:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Making waves on Instagram:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Shared recently on Discord:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Just landed via X:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
So true! It's like dating a Transformer, but without the cool car upgrade 😂🚗💥

3, another, behavior, dating, humor, men, nice, only, personality, relationship, surprise, weeks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

0

2 months ago

date, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, irony, me, phone, phones, recognition, relationship, technology, think
I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

0

2 months ago

awkward, embarrassment, hate, head, hit, hug, i, mirror, self-love, sexy, someone
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

0

2 months ago

ancient, cat, cats, God, history, humor, memory, never, pride, worship
Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

0

2 months ago

better, buy, came, castle, differences, everyone, humor, imagine, me, much, set, together, unity, world
What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, friendship, humor, i, mean, miscommunication, never, reach, reaching, reaching out, social, social awkwardness, thought, thoughtfulness
If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

0

2 months ago

bonfire, bring, campfire, expectation, fuel, guitar, humor, joke, music

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on YouTube this month:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Making waves on YouTube:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Just shared via Slack:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Going viral on Reddit:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Spotted on TikTok:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Live now on Slack:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Spreading quickly via X:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Live now on Telegram:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨