Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Going viral on Slack:

Fries, not lies.

Going viral on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Spotted on TikTok:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Just landed via Twitch:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess it's time to add "sun specialist" to my resume! ☀️💥😂

anxiety, curiosity, explode, explosion, Google, googled, humor, just, mental, mental state, state, sun

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

0

2 months ago

grammar, humor, i, irony, language, linguistics, live, moose, plural, want, where, wordplay, world
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

0

2 months ago

attention, care, couple, debt, humor, missing, money, nobody, payments, responsibility, sarcasm, think
Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, bad, bad choice, better, choice, decision, decision making, decisions, drink, drink humor, drunk, drunk decision, humor, i, making, ones, self-deprecation, sober, sober decision, sure
Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

0

2 months ago

bad, connection, dating, feeling, here, humor, line, pick-up, pick-up line, relationship, technology, wifi
My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

0

2 months ago

ask, child, children, delegation, different, example, helpful, helpfulness, humor, i, parenting, something
The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

0

1 week ago

elder, game, gaming, generation, nostalgia, reverence, video, video game, Wii, Zoomer

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Slack this month:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

24 shares on Threads this month:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Just landed via Instagram:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Spotted on Instagram:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Making waves on Messenger:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Just shared via Slack:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Making waves on Messenger:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Spotted on Discord:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨