Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has copied:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has downloaded:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has shared:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has bookmarked:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, β€œWhoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has copied:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Going viral on YouTube:

A toddler in their β€œwhy” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Going viral on Instagram:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Spotted on TikTok:

Texting him β€œHappy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Freshly posted on Threads:

β€œI’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

0
Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
πŸ”₯β˜€οΈ Meteorologist: "It's going to get even hotter." Me, on fire: "WHAT? Are we turning into human torches now? Someone pass the sunscreen, stat! πŸ”₯πŸ”₯"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🀝

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Discord this month:

My son was praying for β€œeverybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

30 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has viewed:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has copied:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Slack:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on PokΓ©mon Go.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Going viral on WeChat:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Making waves on Threads:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Going viral on WeChat:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Just shared via Twitch:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄