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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Trending via TikTok:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Trending via Telegram:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Shared recently on Discord:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Spotted on Instagram:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Just landed via TikTok:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about self-confidence and humor, playfully questioning who's the top thirst trap.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to give my mirror a performance review, but it just ghosted me! 😅📸✨

best, humor, media, mirror, poster, self-love, social, social media, thirst, thirst trap, trap, vanity, wall

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Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

79 shares on Discord this month:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

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Activity Log ✨

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Keep the laugh going 😂

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨