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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Trending via TikTok:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Spotted on Messenger:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Spotted on Facebook:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Trending via Snapchat:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

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Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, poor T-Rexes, they just can't catch a break! 🦖😂 It turns out, it's not their tiny arms but their lack of a pulse causing the lack of applause. 💀👏 Just imagine a paleontologist arranging a fossilized T-Rex skeleton for an encore. Keep the spirit alive, quite literally! 🦴🎉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

39 shares on TikTok this month:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,055

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Just landed via Slack:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Just shared via Snapchat:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Going viral on Reddit:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Making waves on Messenger:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Breaking via Facebook:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Making waves on Twitch:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

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