My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

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In banana years, I am bread.

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“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

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AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

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Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

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I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

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My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

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Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

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They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

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Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

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Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.