Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Just shared via Reddit:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Just shared via Threads:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Just shared via Facebook:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Trending via Threads:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Currently balancing on the tightrope between 'What's happening in the world?' and 'I can't handle the news!' 🤹‍♂️📰🤯"

comedy, desire, health, humor, information, information overload, informed, irony, mental, mental health, odds, overload, sane, stress

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Even wild things have slow mornings.

0

2 months ago

even, humor, morning, mornings, relatable, slow, slow morning, thing, things, wild, wild thing
I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, dominance, humor, i, interaction, me, minute, small, small talk, social, social interaction, someone, talk, yawn, yawning
I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

0

2 months ago

brag, confidence, earrings, fit, high, high school, humor, i, nostalgia, school, self-deprecation, still, want
Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

0

5 months ago

baby, baby on board, behind, board, car, car sticker, child, dealing, driver, drivers, humor, know, parenting, putting, right, road, road safety, safety, sticker, traffic, vehicle, wheel
Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

0

2 months ago

communication, death, devastating, effect, having, humor, irony, media, note, notes, print, print media, producers, ransom, ransom note, satire, thing, traditional, traditional media, worst
I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, etiquette, humor, i, love, media, message, rest, sarcasm, social, social media, solve, someone, texting, texting etiquette, texts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

16 shares on Messenger this month:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

46 shares on Threads this month:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

31 shares on Threads this month:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I need money, not feelings.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Just shared via Instagram:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Just shared via Facebook:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Even wild things have slow mornings.

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨