Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Trending via Pinterest:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Spotted on WeChat:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Breaking via Reddit:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Trending via Twitch:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Making waves on Telegram:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess we inherited emotional real estate instead of actual real estate! 🤪🏠🫣

anxiety, family, health, house, houses, humor, inheritance, mental, mental health, money, mood, mood swing, swing, swings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

0

3 months ago

actually, appearance, beauty, confidence, excuse, humor, pretty, too
I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, discomfort, feel, honesty, humor, i, making, me, natural, pattern, relationship, say, spot, tendency, uncomfortable, wish
I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

0

2 months ago

body, body crack, body joke, chiropractor, crack, glow, glow stick, humor, i, joke, playful, relaxation, relief, stick, stress, stress relief, want
It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

0

2 months ago

activity, bed, before, getting, getting out of bed, humor, important, motivation, physical, physical activity, warm, warm-up
Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, humor, joke, lifestyle, Mormons, relationship, thanks, wif
Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

0

2 months ago

activity, bowling, fun, humor, laughter, most, sh, someone, sport

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

55 shares on Slack this month:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

45 shares on Discord this month:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

93 shares on X this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

16 shares on Threads this month:

About to form my very first opinion.

76 shares on Slack this month:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Going viral on Facebook:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Spotted on Instagram:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Making waves on Slack:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Trending via Discord:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Trending via Slack:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Just shared via Facebook:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨