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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,748

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Going bananas on Threads:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Just landed via Pinterest:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Live now on Slack:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Going viral on Threads:

Coffee is just goth water.

Live now on Facebook:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about social media and religion with a humorous, playful tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, I must have missed the chapter where emojis save souls! 😂✝️📱#ModernMiracles

bible, bio, cheer, cross, cross emoji, dehumanization, emoji, favorite, God, minority, put, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on X this month:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Going viral on Telegram:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Live now on TikTok:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Making waves on Twitch:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Happy new fear!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Happy new fear!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨