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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,792

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When selective hearing is the real secret to a happy marriage! 😂👂❤️"

aid, communication, compromise, happy, hearing, hearing aid, humor, husband, key, marriage, needs, refusal, refuses, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

4 months ago
awareness, decision, humor, i, illiterate, literacy, read, reading, room, social, social awareness
I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

4 months ago
communication, cooperation, flirt, humor, i, please, relationship
Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

1 month ago
daily, daily grind, every, gently, grind, health, humor, humor quote, mental, mental health, mistake, motivation, over, past, perseverance, reflection, resilience, rise, self-awareness, self-improvement, teeth, while
My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

1 month ago
everyone, everything, expectations, favorite, heart, humor, intentions, kindness, media, nice, purity, read, sarcasm, social, social media, things, true, truth, Twitter
Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

4 months ago
algebra, family, family life, humor, kid, kids, life, marriage, married, parenting, practice, relaxation, relaxing, weeknight
The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

1 month ago
days, humor, me, procrastination, rest, week, weekend

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Just landed via Facebook:

The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Making waves on Slack:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Trending via Twitch:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

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My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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