Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Going viral on YouTube:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Just shared via Discord:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Going viral on Snapchat:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Going bananas on Facebook:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When selective hearing is the real secret to a happy marriage! 😂👂❤️"

aid, communication, compromise, happy, hearing, hearing aid, humor, husband, key, marriage, needs, refusal, refuses, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

0

2 months ago

change, crappy, diet, eating, exercise, exercising, health, humor, lifestyle, mood, sarcasm, sudden, why, wondering
Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

0

3 weeks ago

advent, advent calendar, affection, calendar, daily, day, every, humor, me, metaphor, open, open up, relationship, surprise, want
December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

0

2 months ago

December, everything, humor, January, month, office, problem, procrastination, where, work
Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

0

2 months ago

always, being, best, chance, coworker, coworkers, date, hot, humor, nobody, play, role, work
Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

0

2 months ago

AI, AI failure, awesome, criticism, environmental, environmental impact, failure, Google, Google AI, humor, impact, innovation, planet, sarcasm, technology, work
Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

0

2 months ago

being, career, humor, job, job search, know, piece, piece of shit, questioning, sarcasm, search, shit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Going viral on X:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Going viral on WeChat:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Just landed via Messenger:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨