Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Just shared via Twitch:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Spotted on Facebook:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Making waves on X:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Seen just now on Telegram:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Trending via Snapchat:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

0
My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
If my spirit animal was Wi-Fi, I'd be unstoppable! 📱😂

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

82 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

31 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,556

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Live now on YouTube:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Just landed via YouTube:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Spotted on Threads:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Trending via X:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Just landed via Slack:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴