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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Trending via YouTube:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Just landed via Slack:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Just landed via Discord:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Trending via Instagram:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Just shared via Twitch:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Just shared via X:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Witty quote about fading life plans, humorously comparing them to Marty McFly’s photo.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"BRB, trying to hit 88 mph to save my plans! 🚗💨📸 #BackToReality"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

54 shares on Discord this month:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

42 shares on X this month:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

25 shares on X this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

60 shares on Discord this month:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,439

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Trending via Instagram:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Trending via YouTube:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Spotted on YouTube:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

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