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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,741

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Seen just now on X:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Live now on X:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Trending via Reddit:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Making waves on Telegram:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Making waves on Instagram:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

1 day ago

Playful quote about a conflicted phone and charger with a humorous take on their uncertain relationship.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your phone and its charger are in a classic "will they, won't they" relationship, with more drama than a reality TV show! 📱🔌 One day they're all charged up and happy, the next it's like they can't stand each other. Just remember, communication is key in any relationship – especially when it involves power struggles! 💔⚡️ #RelationshipGoals? #ChargerDrama

charger, connection, frustration, humor, phone, relationship, situationship, sometimes, technology, works

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Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

62 shares on X this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Just shared via Telegram:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Spotted on Telegram:

Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.

Spotted on Slack:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Breaking via Facebook:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Spotted on WeChat:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Live now on Twitch:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Just shared via Discord:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

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