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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

58 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Going viral on X:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Seen just now on Slack:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Spotted on WeChat:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

Shared recently on X:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Seen just now on X:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Just landed via Instagram:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

5 months ago

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your phone and its charger are in a classic "will they, won't they" relationship, with more drama than a reality TV show! 📱🔌 One day they're all charged up and happy, the next it's like they can't stand each other. Just remember, communication is key in any relationship – especially when it involves power struggles! 💔⚡️ #RelationshipGoals? #ChargerDrama

charger, connection, frustration, humor, phone, relationship, situationship, sometimes, technology, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

58 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Just shared via Instagram:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Spotted on Snapchat:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Just landed via Threads:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Going viral on Facebook:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

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