Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Going viral on TikTok:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Trending via Threads:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Going viral on Slack:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like they’ve been brushing up on their wishlist instead of their budget! 🤑🪥

afford, affordability, buy, expensive, expensive taste, humor, own, parenting, someone, taste, teenager, teenager humor, toothpaste

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad choice, being, choice, choices, crisis, existential, existential crisis, hell, humor, infinite, infinite loop, irony, just, life, life choice, loop, real, real hell, self-doubt, stuck, think
Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

0

2 months ago

consumerism, dollar, dollar store, feel, humor, irony, me, poor, rich, same, self-esteem, shopping, store, time
The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

0

2 months ago

Adam, apple, Chinese, culture, different, eve, food, history, humor, irony, left, snake
The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

0

2 months ago

context, different, experience, food, hit, hit different, humor, sharing, yours
In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

0

3 weeks ago

era, humor, internet, just, media, retweet, social, social media, speechless
I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

0

2 months ago

excuse, humor, i, plant, plants, procrastination, war, water, watering

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

48 shares on X this month:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

21 shares on Discord this month:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Just shared via Telegram:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Just landed via Slack:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Seen just now on Twitch:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Trending via Instagram:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Just shared via WeChat:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨