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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,243

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Just shared via YouTube:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Going bananas on Threads:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Just landed via YouTube:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Spreading quickly via X:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Trending via WeChat:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Making waves on Reddit:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like I need a new definition of "friend" 😂🧱🤔

challenge, disagree, disagreement, friend, friends, hit, humor, me, said, therapist, try

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being weird never goes out of style.

0

2 months ago

being, fashion, humor, individuality, never, personality, style, uniqueness, weird
Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

0

4 weeks ago

another, catch, cheating, family, humor, invasion, pair, parent, parents, privacy, room, something, trying, why
Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

0

2 months ago

behavior, dance, dancing, humor, others, reciprocity, social, social behavior, twerk
Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

0

2 months ago

communication, everyday, fitted, folding, frustration, humor, interaction, patience, people, relatable, sarcasm, sheet, social, social interaction, talking
If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

0

2 months ago

answer, dating, humor, just, lucky, relationship, response, single, someone
“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

0

2 months ago

business, grateful, gratitude, humor, none, privacy, sarcasm, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

91 shares on X this month:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

49 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Spotted on Pinterest:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My lips could use some attention today.

Making waves on Discord:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being weird never goes out of style.

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨