Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Just shared via Threads:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Shared recently on Slack:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Shared recently on Threads:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feeling incompetent at work? Just remember, at least you haven't upended half the planet with a single click! 😅💻 #SoftwareFail"

crash, fail, feel, half, hope, humor, i, incompetence, job, live, next, once, perspective, planet, remember, software, software update, someone, tech, tech fail, time, update, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

0

2 months ago

goal, humor, irony, motivation, new, new year, resolution, year
Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

0

2 months ago

activity, anxiety, attack, fun, fun activity, humor, Jaws, playing, song, spice, spice up, theme, theme song
“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

0

2 months ago

date, decline, exaggeration, humor, ID, me, myself, politely, relationship, self-deprecation, volcano
I need a break from me.

0

2 months ago

break, health, humor, i, me, mental, mental health, need, reflection, rest, self, time
Is this simulation from Temu?

0

3 months ago

humor, question, simulation, Temu
If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

0

2 months ago

behavior, bragging, happiness, happy, humility, humor, keep, know, likes, sarcasm, self-control, social, social behavior, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Facebook this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

37 shares on Threads this month:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

27 shares on X this month:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

56 shares on Facebook this month:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Making waves on Discord:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Going viral on Twitch:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Shared recently on X:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Going viral on Messenger:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

I need a break from me.

Is this simulation from Temu?

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨