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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Going viral on YouTube:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Just shared via Twitch:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Shared recently on Slack:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Trending via YouTube:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Breaking via Threads:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don't want to… I'll Do It Later 😅💤 #ProcrastinationChampion"

challenge, humor, i, irony, just, just do it, me, motivation, Nike, personal, personal challenge, procrastination, reluctance, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

0

2 months ago

angry, attitude, disgusting, every, exercise, fitness, fitness struggle, funny attitude, gym, gym life, humor, i, idea, life, meet, mood, people, self-deprecating, struggle, swamp, time, turn, witch, workout, workout mood
My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

0

2 months ago

conspiracy, conspiracy theory, everything, favorite, going, hope, humor, ok, optimism, reassurance, theory
I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, home, humor, i, tomorrow, want, work, workday
Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

0

2 months ago

always, archaeology, bone, career, career joke, humor, joke, paleontologist, pick, pun, science, science humor, seems
My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

0

2 months ago

cooking, dinner, else, favorite, food, humor, laziness, meal, preference, someone, someone else
If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, am, anxiety, being, dark, dark humor, day, death, doom, existential, existential humor, health, humor, humor about death, i, last, live, means, mental, mental health, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sense

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Just landed via Messenger:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Making waves on Instagram:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Just landed via Discord:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Making waves on Slack:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Trending via Messenger:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨