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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Going viral on Instagram:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Going viral on Slack:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Going viral on WeChat:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Live now on X:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about women valuing compliments from other women, playful and humorous in tone.

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Commentary:
When a fellow woman says you look fabulous, it feels like you just got a gold star from the universe 🌟💁‍♀️✨

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

1 week ago

connection, forget, friendship, humor, i, me, people, personality, shy, social
If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

3 months ago

cash, comfort, emotional, emotional needs, hug, humor, just, me, money, needs, pocket, put, sad, sadness, support
I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

1 day ago

chakra, court, honor, humor, i, neglect, root, root chakra, self-care, spirituality, time
I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

3 months ago

aliens, belief, believe, curiosity, extraterrestrial, humor, i, imagination, me, sci-fi
You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

2 days ago

dyslexia, humor, irony, language, sexy, spell, wordplay
I’ve named my couch American Idle.

1 week ago

American, American Idle, couch, furniture, humor, idle, laziness, pun, relaxation

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Threads this month:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

66 shares on X this month:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

92 shares on Discord this month:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

71 shares on Discord this month:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

55 shares on Threads this month:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Spotted on Messenger:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Making waves on Reddit:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Breaking via Slack:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Going bananas on X:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨