Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Making waves on Reddit:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Live now on Reddit:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Trending via YouTube:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Just landed via Discord:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Shared recently on Slack:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When a fellow woman says you look fabulous, it feels like you just got a gold star from the universe 🌟💁‍♀️✨

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

0

2 months ago

death, die, existence, humor, irony, just, life, password, resetting, struggle, technology
She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

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2 months ago

animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off
I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

0

2 months ago

amount, cooking, ever, food, humor, i, kitchen, mistakes, pasta, right, think
My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

0

3 days ago

after, blue, bonnie, Bonnie Blue, comparison, here, humor, laundry, load, machine, over, taking, washing, washing machine
Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

0

2 months ago

activity, along, brisk, fog, humor, mind, nature, shoreline, walk
I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

0

2 months ago

ask, both, clarity, communication, confused, confusion, hate, here, humor, i, idea, insight, irony, learning, listen, me, meant, nonsense, people, same, say, something, time, understanding, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Discord this month:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Just landed via WeChat:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Just shared via Reddit:

They’re making me do work at work.

Just landed via Instagram:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Breaking via WeChat:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Breaking via TikTok:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Spotted on X:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨