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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My recliner and I go way back.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Just shared via Instagram:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Spotted on Messenger:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Going viral on TikTok:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Shared recently on Threads:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

2 months ago

0

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of unrequited love! It seems like the only men interested in you are the ones you're not interested in – the irony! 🙅‍♂️😅 Maybe it's time to start a 'No Interest Club' for all the admirers you'd rather not have!"

date, humor, i, interest, irony, me, men, only, relationship, sarcasm, thank

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

0

2 months ago

apology, humor, i, last, last one, mistake, misunderstanding, sorry, straw, straws, thought
The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, death, died, dude, humor, joke, piece, restaurant, technology, wordplay
The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

0

2 months ago

always, behavior, bite, call, cell, cell phone, communication, funny observation, hold, humor, i, observation, people, phone, quirky, quirky behavior, sandwich, take, think, trying
If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

0

2 months ago

contemplation, endarkenment, enlightenment, humor, irony, philosophy, questions, reach, wisdom
I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

0

2 months ago

another, distraction, dog, forget, funny moment, house, humor, i, just, left, love, moment, pet, remember, something, stove
Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

0

2 months ago

creativity, drug, drugs, game, good, humor, jokes, just, name, naming, oh, prescription, prescription drug, pretty, random, randomness, Scrabble, sounds, sure, word, word game

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

90 shares on X this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

32 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear music, thanks!

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

41 shares on Threads this month:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

16 shares on X this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,567

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Just landed via Messenger:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Just landed via Facebook:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Trending via Snapchat:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Going viral on Pinterest:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Shared recently on X:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

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