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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Making waves on WeChat:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Just shared via Reddit:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Just shared via TikTok:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about life's minor inconveniences, highlighting humor in teleportation fantasies.

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Commentary:
I'd save so much on gas and sanity if teleportation was an app! 🚀📱

able, being, fantasy, huge, humor, inconvenience, me, technology, teleport, travel, wish

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27 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

24 shares on X this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

90 shares on Discord this month:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

53 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

64 shares on X this month:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

13 shares on X this month:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

33 shares on Discord this month:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Going viral on Instagram:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Just landed via Messenger:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Going viral on YouTube:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Going bananas on WeChat:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Just shared via Messenger:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Just landed via Threads:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

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Activity Log ✨

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨