Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Spotted on Telegram:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Just landed via WeChat:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Just landed via Reddit:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Trending via Snapchat:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Live now on Discord:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Channeling my inner wizard, please hold! 🧙‍♂️✨

excuse, humor, manifesting, mindfulness, motivation, procrastination, right, self-care

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

0

3 months ago

chronically, chronically online, different, digital, digital life, humor, internet, internet humor, life, media, online, sarcasm, social, social media, sophisticated, witty
December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

0

2 months ago

December, everything, humor, January, month, office, problem, procrastination, where, work
Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

0

2 months ago

anyone, face, Face ID, humor, ID, noise, phone, sarcasm, technology, unlock
Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

0

2 months ago

always, fun, humor, kind, kindness, know, never, pool, social, surprise, unexpected
50 shades of single.

0

2 months ago

50, dating, humor, relationship, shades, single
Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

0

2 months ago

50s, age, age joke, aging, asleep, couch, fall, humor, joke, moment, relaxation, retirement, sitting, sleep, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

46 shares on X this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Spotted on Reddit:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Going viral on Telegram:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My favorite color is money.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Breaking via Instagram:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Live now on X:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

50 shades of single.

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨