Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,713

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Breaking via Reddit:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Just landed via TikTok:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Just shared via Telegram:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Seen just now on Discord:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Shared recently on YouTube:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about procrastination and manifestation humorously emphasizing delay.

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Commentary:
Channeling my inner wizard, please hold! 🧙‍♂️✨

excuse, humor, manifesting, mindfulness, motivation, procrastination, right, self-care

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40 shares on Telegram this month:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

13 shares on X this month:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

41 shares on X this month:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

55 shares on Threads this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Breaking via Snapchat:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Trending via Slack:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Trending via WeChat:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Just landed via Instagram:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨