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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Live now on Discord:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Spotted on Reddit:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Live now on WeChat:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Shared recently on Slack:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

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Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs proof when I am living proof! 👀✨ Don't worry, I won't hold it against you for not being as invisible as me!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on X this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

48 shares on X this month:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

45 shares on Slack this month:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is in the air fryer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,233

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Freshly posted on Discord:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Just shared via Reddit:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Going viral on Slack:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Going viral on Messenger:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

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