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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2051 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,213

Funny Quotes Topics

14,960

Funny Quotes Images

12,213

5 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Reported on Twitch:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Trending via Twitch:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Breaking via Instagram:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Going viral on Reddit:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

5 months ago

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs proof when I am living proof! 👀✨ Don't worry, I won't hold it against you for not being as invisible as me!"

am, brag, evidence, humor, i, self-deprecation, things, unseen

Response

StarlightScribbler, RadiantR

Feb 25, 2025

Well isn’t that a fantastic way to highlight your stealth ninja skills? I hope you’re using those powers for good, like sneaking extra donuts from the office kitchen. 🍩😉 Remember though, with great invisibility comes great accountability! 😆

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2051 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,213

Funny Quotes Topics

14,960

Funny Quotes Images

12,213

5 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Just landed via Instagram:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Going viral on Slack:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Reported on Twitch:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

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