Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Spotted on Reddit:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Spotted on Discord:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Just shared via WeChat:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Trending via WeChat:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Breaking via Messenger:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs proof when I am living proof! 👀✨ Don't worry, I won't hold it against you for not being as invisible as me!"

am, brag, evidence, humor, i, self-deprecation, things, unseen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

0

2 months ago

bag, hole, humor, losing, marble, sanity
Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

0

2 months ago

content, content creation, creation, feel, female, filmmaker, forgot, fun, i, ig, Instagram, Instagram story, media, post, social, social media, story
Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

0

2 months ago

accent, apology, babe, being, British, British accent, cancel, dating, fake, geographic, geographic inconsistency, going, humor, inconsistency, keeps, medieval, relationship, roleplay, sarcasm, sex, sorry
Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

0

2 months ago

bio, bumble, dating, family, guys, humor, murder, online, online dating, response, sarcasm, still, whole
Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

0

2 months ago

distraction, driving, flashing, flashing light, humor, light, multitasking, police, scrolling, technology
I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

0

2 months ago

cash, commitment, fear, finance, love, money, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Discord this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

93 shares on YouTube this month:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

40 shares on X this month:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Trending via Reddit:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Going bananas on Instagram:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Live now on Slack:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Going viral on Messenger:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨