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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,519

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Breaking via Twitch:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Going viral on Facebook:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Live now on Instagram:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Just shared via Pinterest:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

2 months ago

0

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the subtle art of effortless coolness 😎. It takes true talent to master the 'I-didn't-even-have-to-try' vibe, right? 💁‍♂️ Who needs accusations when you're naturally smooth like butter? 🧈 #EffortlesslyCool #ChillVibes"

accuse, brag, confidence, effort, ever, hard, humor, me, self-deprecation, too, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

0

2 months ago

great, human, human interaction, humor, interaction, lab, learn, learning, mind, new, socializing, subconscious, subconscious mind, swear, swear word, word, words
I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

0

2 months ago

after, check, check-in, checkout, hospitality, hotel, hours, humor, i, industry, joke, mean, time, travel
The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

0

2 months ago

back, change, climate, climate change, cool, difference, generational, generational difference, global, global warming, humor, nostalgia, nowhere, people, real, reason, warming, young, young people
Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

0

2 months ago

cable, cord, dominance, electronics, ever, HDMI, HDMI cord, humor, most, run, technology
(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

0

2 weeks ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, getting, getting lost, got, humor, labyrinth, lost, nice, steps, walking
Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

0

2 months ago

am, better, better person, choice, cool, fashion, going, humor, i, jacket, making, materialism, myself, new, person, personal, personal choice, priorities, purchase, self-improvement, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

66 shares on Discord this month:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Making waves on Twitch:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Just landed via Twitch:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Seen just now on Discord:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Going bananas on Discord:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Just landed via Slack:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Spotted on TikTok:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Breaking via Telegram:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

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