Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Trending via Discord:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Spotted on Snapchat:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Making waves on Twitch:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Live now on Facebook:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Just landed via Reddit:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Peanut butter is my true soulmate; bread is just the third wheel! 🥜❤️🍞

bond, break, butter, food, food love, friendship, humor, love, me, nothing, peanut, peanut butter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

0

2 months ago

1, ago, Bitcoin, cryptocurrency, finance, humor, investment, joke, let, let that sink in, sink, ten, value, worth, year’s
I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

0

2 months ago

choice, event, fall, food, humor, i, invitation, just, move, neighborhood, planning, potluck, social, social event
I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

0

2 months ago

change, coping, divorce, drink, humor, i, life, life change, marriage, realization, relationship, thought
The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

0

2 months ago

cat, humor, i, life, narcissist, only, personality, pet, self-love
I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

0

2 months ago

distraction, disturb, do not disturb, focus, humor, i, life, peace, put, whole, wish
I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

0

4 months ago

asked, best, best day, boss, day, hate, here, i, job, life, once, quit, quit job, resignation, said, simply, why, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Going viral on Discord:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Spotted on Instagram:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Breaking via Facebook:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨