Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Trending via YouTube:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Going viral on Discord:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Trending via Twitch:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Just shared via Discord:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Trending via Snapchat:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote celebrating an unbreakable love for peanut butter with humorous charm.

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Commentary:
Peanut butter is my true soulmate; bread is just the third wheel! 🥜❤️🍞

bond, break, butter, food, food love, friendship, humor, love, me, nothing, peanut, peanut butter

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41 shares on Threads this month:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

45 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

77 shares on X this month:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

20 shares on Threads this month:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Breaking via YouTube:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

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Activity Log ✨

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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