Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the brutal fashion critics have spoken! 😂👗 Just remember, those teens might be whispering about your awesome sense of style… or where you got that top from! 😉 #FashionPolice"

choice, embarrassment, fashion, faster, looking, looks, nothing, outfit, regret, teens, whisper

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

0

2 months ago

canvas, clean, cleaning, house, humor, i, irony, kids, mess, organization, parenting, stuff
Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

0

2 months ago

animal, brown, daily, daily life, days, dog, fox, humor, humor style, lazy, lazy dog, life, mood, personality, quick, quick fox, style
It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, amazing, book, books, classic, classic book, creativity, funny observation, humor, literature, observation, penguin, think, writing
Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

0

2 weeks ago

5, book, bro, humor, irony, last, obsession, read, reading, storytelling, tech, tech bro
I remember sex. That was cool.

0

1 month ago

cool, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, remember, sex
Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

0

2 months ago

coworkers, distractions, everyone, hate, home, humor, i, message, messaging, remote, remote work, shopping, try, work, work from home

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

29 shares on Threads this month:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Making waves on WeChat:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Shared recently on WeChat:

This whole week could have been an email.

Breaking via Discord:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Live now on Twitch:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Live now on Messenger:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

I remember sex. That was cool.

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨