Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

455 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,724

Funny Quotes Topics

17,742

Funny Quotes Images

15,724

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Live now on Slack:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Going viral on WeChat:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Breaking via Pinterest:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Just landed via Telegram:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Trending via Twitch:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Going bananas on X:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

7 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Embracing my inner grandma while cracking the code and bustin' moves at dawn! 🧩🧓🧘‍♂️

admit, aging, crossword, habit, health, health habit, humor, i, morning, morning stretch, old, old person, people, person, right, stretch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

3 months ago

animal, answering, cat, cats, communication, greeting, humor, Japanese, phone, pun
Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

2 months ago

brain, daydreaming, distraction, diversion, humor, i, me, mental, mental diversion, multiple, multitasking, overthinking, quest, side, side quest, sorry, story, zoning, zoning out
Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

3 months ago

dating, expectations, humor, man, nobody, relationship, stress, woman
Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

1 day ago

air, before, bored, boredom, cell, cell phone, entertainment, flip, game, nickel, nostalgia, old fashioned, over, pastime, phone, phones, public
Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

2 months ago

appointments, around, awkward, bit, dentist, humor, meet, mouth, nice, root, weird
I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

2 months ago

adulthood, after, age, anywhere, going, going out, humor, i, never, parents, understand, understanding, wanted, where, why, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Going viral on TikTok:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Going bananas on Slack:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

Breaking via YouTube:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Spotted on Slack:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Trending via Instagram:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨