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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Old Spice: when you want to smell like a rugged lumberjack but end up smelling like your grandpa's basement 😂🌲 #NotSoSpicy"

fragrance, humor, irony, old, Old Spice, scent, smell, something, sound, spice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

2 months ago

annoyance, blocking, enough, humor, i, joke, lice, relationship, revenge, someone, want
High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

3 months ago

awkward, catch, crazy, crush, glimpse, hell, high, high school, i, just, love, memory, over, running, school, teenager, why
Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

2 months ago

activity, dream, dreams, empty, empty house, football, house, indoor, indoor activity, leisure, rain, relaxation, stuff, television, TV
My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

2 months ago

annoying, annoying habit, communication, habit, habits, humor, husband, me, offended, offense, PowerPoint, presentation, relationship
I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

2 months ago

grandkids, hoping, humor, i, joke, kids, parenting, science, want, wish
I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, joke, mad, madness, mind, mind reader, psychic, reader, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

70 shares on X this month:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

72 shares on Discord this month:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Breaking via X:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

Spotted on Telegram:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Making waves on Facebook:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨