Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Just landed via YouTube:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Trending via Twitch:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Spotted on Facebook:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Going viral on Threads:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Live now on TikTok:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Onion rings? I’m answering.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you onions, make sure they come with a side of rings! 🧅🔔😋

answer, answering, food, humor, joke, onion, onion ring, ring, rings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

0

2 months ago

chasing, Easter, Easter egg, egg, eggs, game, games, gaming, gaming humor, hide, humor, item, items, place, rare, rare item, video, video game, waterfall, where
A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

0

2 months ago

amazing, call, girl, good, good girl, humor, irony, me, relationship, satisfaction, self-love, unfortunately, vibrator
Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

0

2 months ago

excuse, fantasy, gap, help, Hobbits, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, Mordor, resume, ring, something, take, tell
The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

0

2 months ago

best, budget, humor, Japan, money, time, timing, travel, vacation, visit
Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

0

2 months ago

aging, changes, complaining, getting, humor, interaction, less, life, life changes, means, older, people, perspective, social, social interaction, talking
Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, internet, nostalgia, pain, scream, technology, used, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Reddit this month:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

41 shares on X this month:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m an ethical hater. My hate towards you is informed, balanced, and deeply nuanced.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Just landed via Discord:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Just shared via Pinterest:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Making waves on WeChat:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Spotted on Reddit:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Just shared via Messenger:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Live now on Twitch:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Spotted on X:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨