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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Making waves on Messenger:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Going viral on Facebook:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Going viral on Slack:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Breaking via Reddit:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Onion rings? I’m answering.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you onions, make sure they come with a side of rings! 🧅🔔😋

answer, answering, food, humor, joke, onion, onion ring, ring, rings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

0

2 months ago

boss, guy, humor, leadership, loose, me, personal, personal responsibility, real, responsibility, runs, self-control, self-discipline, ship, tough
Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

0

5 months ago

city, damage, humor, infrastructure, infrastructure damage, movie, movie night, night, stress, superhero, superhero movie, trying, watch, watching, watching movie
Somebody needs to get my shit together.

0

2 months ago

humor, motivation, need, needs, procrastination, self-improvement, shit, somebody, together
I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

0

2 months ago

age, diet, eat, eating, food, fork, gain, gaining, humor, i, pounds, struggle, used, wanted, weight
Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

0

3 weeks ago

another, daily, daily grind, day, frustration, grind, hamster, hamster wheel, humor, life, monotony, nowhere, repetition, routine, sarcasm, wheel, work, work life
Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

0

2 months ago

ask, humor, i, leisure, request, rest, vacation, weekend, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Making waves on WeChat:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Making waves on TikTok:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Making waves on Telegram:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Breaking via Discord:

My default setting is sexual energy.

Just landed via Instagram:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Just shared via Telegram:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Spotted on Messenger:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Spotted on Threads:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨