Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Going viral on Slack:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Just landed via Discord:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Trending via WeChat:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

2 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Remind me to invite you to my next pizza party, but I'll stick to local deliveries! 🍕😂🚚

cryptocurrency, d.c., food, food order, manipulation, market, market manipulation, order, ordering, pizza, Polymarket, prank, pull, rug, rug pull, scam, Washington, Washington D.C.

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

2 months ago

doll, humor, joke, magic, playful, please, prank, sarcasm, study, supernatural, voodoo, voodoo doll
I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

2 months ago

hate, humor, i, irony, me, question, self-reflection, wrong
“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

2 months ago

disagreement, humor, individuality, mind, never, own, sarcasm, translation, wrong
My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

2 months ago

discontent, enjoying, future, future husband, humor, husband, jealousy, marriage, nice, relationship, seeds, summer, wife
Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

3 months ago

completion, ever, fine, humor, list, priorities, productivity, sex, single, thing, to-do, to-do list
The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, date, expectations, fine, first impression, horror, humor, impression, interaction, know, meet, meeting, once, person, personality, relationships, social, social interaction, warned, warning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Telegram this month:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Spotted on Messenger:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Just shared via Instagram:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Shared recently on Slack:

Avocado is just green butter.

Spotted on Reddit:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨