Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Breaking via X:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Trending via Pinterest:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Breaking via YouTube:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Just shared via Pinterest:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Going viral on X:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about ordering countless pizzas and a sneaky market move.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Remind me to invite you to my next pizza party, but I'll stick to local deliveries! 🍕😂🚚

cryptocurrency, d.c., food, food order, manipulation, market, market manipulation, order, ordering, pizza, Polymarket, prank, pull, rug, rug pull, scam, Washington, Washington D.C.

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Slack this month:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Live now on Telegram:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Going viral on Reddit:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Live now on Slack:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Going bananas on Discord:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Making waves on Threads:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Just landed via Threads:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Trending via YouTube:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ordering 600 pizzas from Washington, D.C., to rug pull on Polymarket.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨