Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

39 shares on Slack this month:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.