Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Shared recently on YouTube:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Live now on Telegram:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Live now on Instagram:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Spotted on Twitch:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Just shared via Telegram:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Just shared via X:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

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Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.
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Commentary:
Riding our bikes felt like an epic quest, and our parents were none the wiser! 🏞️😂🚴‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Facebook this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

92 shares on Slack this month:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

43 shares on Discord this month:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great day, and then, people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Broadcasted on X:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Just shared via Threads:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Shared recently on X:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

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