People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple. Posted onMay 25, 2026
If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Posted onMay 25, 2026
I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find. Posted onMay 25, 2026
My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store. Posted onMay 25, 2026
A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America. Posted onMay 25, 2026
My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that. Posted onMay 25, 2026
WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now. Posted onMay 25, 2026
I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone. Posted onMay 25, 2026
“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up. Posted onMay 25, 2026
Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them? Posted onMay 25, 2026