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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Spotted on Telegram:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Spotted on YouTube:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Seen just now on Threads:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me trying to motivate myself like the Peloton guy – 'two more Cheetos, one more Cheeto!' 🚴‍♂️🧀 #FitnessGoals #SnackAttacks"

cheetos, eating, exercise, fitness, guy, humor, indulgence, irony, me, motivation, Peloton, snack, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

0

2 months ago

before, came, communication, heads, just, media, nonsense, people’s, people’s heads, social, social media, thoughts, Twitter
When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, critic, de, food, humor, i, nom, nom de plume, plume, pun, restaurant, under, writing
I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

0

2 months ago

business, career, career change, change, half, hogan, Hulk, Hulk Hogan, humor, i, job, job search, looking, mean, motivation, new, relief, ripping, search, shirt, shirt ripping, short, story, stress, stress relief, workplace, workplace humor
We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

0

2 months ago

age, cool, game, humor, just, level, older, older person, person, perspective, start, video, video game
A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, everything, fix, fix everything, forehead, forehead kiss, health, humor, illness, irreverent, kiss, lobotomy, mental, mental health, mental illness, therapy
Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

0

2 months ago

everyone, gender, humor, men, nice, self-care, skin, stress

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Threads this month:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Just shared via Facebook:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Making waves on YouTube:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Just shared via WeChat:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨