Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Trending via Facebook:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Trending via Pinterest:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just trying to find inner peace with sushi and sakura blossoms! 🍣🌸✈️ #EmotionalSupportTrip"

20s, 30s, adventure, age, early, early 30s, emotional, emotional support, humor, Japan, late, late 20s, people, support, travel, trip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

0

2 months ago

9pm, activity, after, age, anything, bedtime, evening, fun, humor, i, laziness, night, want, where
Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

0

3 months ago

after, behavior, dominance, humor, LinkedIn, media, networking, online, online behavior, social, social media, yours
Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

0

2 months ago

comfort, comfort zone, humor, interaction, introvert, me, people, personal, personal space, sarcasm, should, social, social interaction, space, zone
Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

0

2 months ago

cat, cats, follow, humor, i, Litterboxd, oh, pets, should
Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

0

2 months ago

bathroom, cleanliness, crime, crime scene, humor, joke, scene, toilet, toilets, traces
World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

0

2 months ago

domination, even, humor, i, myself, responsibility, self, want, world, world domination

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

96 shares on Slack this month:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Trending via Instagram:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Just shared via Twitch:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Just landed via Threads:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨