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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Shared recently on Instagram:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Making waves on Snapchat:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Just shared via Instagram:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
You gotta appreciate those anti-pickle heroes—saving the world from a pickle overflow, one sandwich at a time! 🥒😂

food, give, humor, importance, important, me, people, pickle, sharing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

0

2 months ago

asking, cannabis, dispensary, humor, longing, question, stop, strain, yearning
The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

0

2 months ago

boss, Christmas, employee, even, humor, never, party, Pope, religion, workplace
Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

0

2 months ago

browser, browser history, calculator, calculator history, delete, Earth, embarrassing, forget, history, i, pass
Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

0

2 months ago

architectural, architectural genius, architecture, design, evil, evil sadist, frustration, garage, genius, humor, irony, parking, parking garage, sadist
Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, ceiling, daily, daily life, floor, household, humor, kids, life, me, mirror, parenting, sink, toothpaste, towel, towels, walls
I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

0

2 months ago

friendship, friendship humor, friendship loyalty, going, good, humor, i, keep, loyalty, storage, Tupperware

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

44 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

50 shares on Reddit this month:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Trending via Reddit:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Making waves on Reddit:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Trending via WhatsApp:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Spotted on X:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨